The past few weeks

The past few days people have been asking me “what’s wrong”? I am now going to try and explain some of what I've been feeling for the past few days.

On Oct 7^th my daughter, my youngest son, Anthony and I attended the 2012 Buddy Walk for the Inland area group, Up for Down. We went there first under the impression that it was only going to be $5.00 each because we didn't want to par-take in the walk, but visit with everyone there and try and sell some shirts that we had made prior to the walk.  My husband and I were told a few weeks before this that the shirts would be great at the buddy walk, no where were we told not to show up and start selling them but were in fact told to possibly set up a table there.  I had told the women that said this to me that I didn't think I would have enough time to get such an amount for that many people but I would show up and possibly take orders for what I didn't have.

So here we were at the walk, with a small box of shirts and yes raffle tickets that we had made for an iPad 2 that we were trying to help raise even more money for our team with.  The tickets read iPad 2 raffle and all proceeds over the cost of the iPad 2 would go to the group Up for Downs through DSALA under our team AAA (Anthony’s Amazing All-Stars).  We almost had enough for the product when we showed up at the walk on the 7^th and had sold only a few tickets there along with a few shirts; one of which had been ordered before the walk date.

We get to the walk and I am charges $25 for both me and my daughter, which is far more than the $5 my husband said would be ok to spend, so I had over paid by $40, which I’m a little upset but the money goes to the programs we ourselves were trying to raise money for so I was on the fence about the whole thing.

The baby and I left my daughter at the table that someone was kind enough to give to us while we were there, and with me carrying him started the walk with the whole group.  I walked about a ¼ of the mile and he was asleep so I turned back only to see one of the ladies I had talked to before over by my daughter asking her a bunch of questions.  I walk over there, put the baby in his stroller and start talking to the lady.

She first asked me if I had sold any tickets, I told her we had sold what I believed was 5 at the time as I didn't know the exact number.  I was then told that it was a problem, not the complete nature of the problem but that it was causing a problem, so I had my daughter put the shirts and the tickets into the car and I then talked to member of the DSALA on the ladies cell phone (I’m not using names of the people involved because I personally do not want or need any more trouble from anyone).

I talked to him for about 20 minutes and I told him I understand that it was causing some problems and had in fact told my daughter to put everything away.  I was not aware that I was causing so many problems, trying to raise money for this group that we had become semi close to over the past year.

We left the walk a little early one because the baby would never let me put him down long enough to relax my arms, 2 the walk was over and there was just a bunch of games going on and 3 I was tired from not getting much rest during the week prior to this.

I get home and relax. A few days go by and I post that the last day for the ticket sale would be October 19^th, so to jump in and buy before its too late…I had posted this on a few different DS groups on Facebook.  On Friday I get a private message from someone I rather like, from the biggest group that I connect with (which I have been rather laps on since all this started).

I told her I would call her the next day because I was due in her area and it would be great to see her and give her the shirt that she had wanted to get.  I called her and my whole day just went down from there.  She told me that she had received a call and was told to take my site info down off the site because what I was doing was wrong and was causing a lot of problems…that I wasn't even aware of. 

She explained to me that because it had the group name Up for Downs and DSALA on the tickets that it was illegal.  Yes you heard me right; the names make it Illegal for me to sell.  It could cause more problems for everyone involved if I don’t stop selling them and that my site was removed because of the tickets on there.  I also had posted that the money over the cost of the shirts was going to be part of our donation to the DSALA Buddy walk in November.  I was told that the shirts are nice but that I needed to take the site down, remove everything about it and then I could re-post it just for the shirts, not saying where the money would go.

I didn't have time to change it that day as we were just walking out the door to go to a birthday party, the first party we have been invited to for a child since Anthony was born so of course we wanted to be there. We show up, had a good time and go home.  The next day I’m sitting in my living room with my kids watching TV with the baby in my lap when my phone goes off.  It’s the guy from DSALA calling me.  I answer the phone; here is a VERY brief part of the call, or at least the jest of it.

Him: Hi we talked on the phone the other day…

Me: Yes I remember, sorry I haven’t called; I've been rather sick and am just starting to feel better.

Him: I’m calling to make sure you understand….I need you to remove the site and stop selling the shirts.

Overall the whole conversation made me upset and rather hurt that something so minor as the woman I had talked to at the walk could have fixed to everyone being upset and it causing me so many problems over names that I didn't even know I couldn't use on tickets.  Forget the shirts; I was more worried about the tickets so we could get enough to give the iPad 2 away without a loss.  So yes, now I’m depressed, upset and very hurt by everyone.

I like the group but now I feel like I’m alone in this again, like everything we have done was for nothing and I’m not even sure if we’ll attend anymore events for the group we had once felt so close with again.

As for the Buddy walk next month; I’m not sure but my stomach is in a bunch of knots just thinking about it.
The shirt site is back up and running, without the tickets or any names other than my own on there now.  Please feel free to share the site, tell your friends about these great shirts for kids and adults with Down Syndrome.

Down Syndrome Shirts

Rockin An Extra Chromosome

These shirts were designed by my brother in law.

Find my Facebook page Facebook FantomKat and we can connect there.

This is the front of the shirt.

This is the back of the shirt.

All the shirts are made of 100% Cotton, pre-shrunk.

Right now we don't have color options as they are the color of the Down Syndrome Ribbon already.

We do have child and adult sizes and soon we will be adding parents shirts, which will be male and female designed so check back all the time.

Allow up to 2 weeks for shipping. 
 **ATTENTION DUE TO THE HIGH DEMAND IT MAY TAKE UP TO 3 WEEKS FOR DELIVERY, SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE**
I will email you to let you know for sure.

Thank you.

For the families that would like to order and live in the San Gabriel, San Bernardino, Riverside areas send me a message stating how many you would like to buy, we can deliver them to you personally, minus tax and shipping, so if you are in the area DO NOT BUY FROM HERE but instead message me on Facebook and we will arrange delivery.

New sizes, 2T, 3T and 4T. When you place the order, in the notes put what size you want if it's not listed.

Shirt Prices

Pull down bar $0.00 USD Child Size $15.00 USD Adult Size $20.00 USD Adult Extra Sizes $22.00 USD

Sizes

2T 3T 4T Small Medium Large 1XL 2XL 3XL 4XL

We have a spot here for private donations. If you would like to donate for any reason, I'm hoping to raise enough money (yes but not for me) to have my dad (who I found 1 year ago) and my brother (who I found a few months ago) come visit me.  It's cheaper to have them come to me than to have my whole family go see them...and I have looked into all forms of travel from Bus, rental car, Train and Airplane.  It is a lot cheaper for them to travel to me...train is about $1500 each round trip plus hotel. I put a small cushion in there just in case they want to do some fun stuff out here with the family. Please take a look and donate if you can or spread the word so others can help.  If you were asking I would help you anyway I could.  Any money left over after the trips will be donated to another person/family in need so the money will not go to waste.

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.

Anthony's first visit to the Dentist :0/

Hi everyone, for those of you that are new to my blogs let me welcome you with open arms and tell you to go check out my blogs from the start.  What? yeah I want you to read, hey look it's not a lot and I'm sure you'll be glad you did after reading them.  How do I know you'll like them?  Please, have I ever lied to you before?  Ok then go read them anyway...

Yes, I have issues, but then do't we all?

My blogs were mainly created for me to talk about my youngest child, who was born with Down Syndrome, hence the name My Holland Hugs (again read the first few blogs to know all the details of the name and such). My little Angel is the light of my life. I couldn't imagine my life without him.

A few weeks ago I was at work and I get this call.  "Hi hunny, Baby fell and I can't get him to stop crying.  His mouth is bleeding I think he cracked a tooth." Me, "WHAT?"  (Yes folks, he was calm on the phone when he called me). I asked him what happened..."What happened?" Him, "Cyndi was watching him while I was putting clothes into the dryer and then I hear him screaming. I guess he fell and hit his mouth on the floor and now his it's bleeding but he won't let me look at it and he won't stop crying." Me, "Ok let me tell my boss and I'll be right there". Sent message to my boss, Anthony fell and is bleeding I need to go now." "Ok."

I left, went to the laundry mat when the family was and picked up Anthony. He has almost stopped crying but you can tell he's in pain. I start calling I don't know how many dentists trying to find one that could see us now and that takes Medical and can deal with a Special Needs child.  I found one, doesn't take Medical but they take IEHP.  Ok fine, the card is at home.  I sent a message to another Mom that lives kinda far from me, asking her if she knew any and she thankfully did.  I called them and they told me to come in now, I'm an hour away and told him to give me a little bit of time but I would be there as soon as I could.

I then take the baby home, get his cards, change and get him ready to go and by this time the rest of the family has shown up. We leave, drive to West Covina (for those of you in this area you know that driving from Rialto to West Covina can take about an hour without traffic and this is around 2 in the afternoon, the beginning of traffic time). We made it there, and waited.  My son just loves fish so he was watching the fish tank most of the time. The Children's Dental Funzone takes Medical and work with you if there is something Medical doesn't pay for.

It's a really nice place. There are 2 areas, one for normal services, all the chairs are next to each other to give the kids comfort in knowing there are other kids like them. On the other side is the more private rooms, for those that need to be restrained or knocked out.  Yes I said restrained or knocked out.  A small child will not just sit there and let someone they don't know touch their mouth and to do anything where it involves touching them? Hell no! Not gonna happen!

We talked with the dentist for a few minutes and he gave us a run down of what he needed to do to even get a look at the tooth/teeth that are bleeding. We could wait a few days for him to call in a gas specialist for Anthony to be knocked out or we could have him restrained and get it done now.  Anthony was in so much pain I agreed to have it done now and if we couldn't handle it we could always stop and wait the few days.  We always have that option.

We waited another hour for him to have a room ready and in we go.

The room. Very small and I don't mean small like the normal dentist rooms small, I mean this is almost a closet room small.  There was the dentist chair, 2 stools (dentist and his assist.) a sink, small shelf with DVD player on it. In the corner was a box type thing for the parent to sit on and that's it. The room was full.  the child retrains (Child Restrains Story) was already in there in different sizes.  They kept the small one there and moved the larger ones to another room.

Now your looking at this and going she let them do that to her kid?  What choice did I really have?  I can't stand him to be in pain and sorry he was in pain.  The tooth after they got the x-rays of it was cracked all the way to the nerve, so as a person who has teeth, you know that when that nerve is exposed, it HURTS. Now your 2 1/2 and can't talk or tell anyone it hurts, I had to do it.  They were able to remove the tooth with him crying the whole time.  I felt so bad and wanted to cry myself but held it together for the little guy.  Nic on the other hand was falling apart and kept walking out of the room to take a breath.  Anthony pulled through it, lost his first tooth and is now doing fine.

We feel bad he had to have that much trauma done but he's fine now.

Things That Annoy Me ~ Thursday

I am jumping on the band wagon so to speak.

I just saw this blog Things That Annoy Me Thursday and I just had to start it myself as there are a ton of things that can annoy everyone but no one really talks about them.

Ok so here it goes.

My Things That Annoy Me Thursday list.

Your at work and people that walk by your door every few seconds to see what your doing or not doing but never say hi to you or ask how your doing. (This happens almost daily where I am. The boss, manager, not even sure what to call him really, walks from his office, down the 20 foot hallway past my door and back. The most I've seen him do this was 20 times in less than 2 minutes. What could you possibly be doing on the other side of my office and why do you need to go back and forth that often? I mean COMON!)

I'm not a dumb person, but people always treat me like I am.

My boss. He tells me that he will find me more work to do, then 5 minutes before I get to clock out sends me a crap load of stuff but nothing during the whole rest of the day when I had NOTHING to do.

People that have nice new cars and don't take care of them so they look like crap. Wash your cars people!

Ok, so now you should do the whole Annoying thing blog and link it to the blog at the top. We all have them, get to it! 8:0)

Selling Down Syndrome Shirts

These shirts were designed by my brother in law.

Find my Facebook page Facebook FantomKat and we can connect there.

This is the front of the shirt.

This is the back of the shirt.

All the shirts are made of 100% Cotton, pre-shrunk.

Right now we don't have color options as they are the color of the Down Syndrome Ribbon already.

We do have child and adult sizes and soon we will be adding parents shirts, which will be male and female designed so check back all the time.

Allow up to 2 weeks for shipping. **ATTENTION DUE TO THE HIGH DEMAND IT MAY TAKE UP TO 3 WEEKS FOR DELIVERY, SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE** I will email you to let you know for sure.

Thank you.

For the families that would like to order and live in the San Gabriel, San Bernardino, Riverside areas send me a message stating how many you would like to buy, we can deliver them to you personally, minus tax and shipping, so if you are in the area DO NOT BUY FROM HERE but instead message me on Facebook and we will arrange delivery.

New sizes, 2T, 3T and 4T. When you place the order, in the notes put what size you want if it's not listed.

Shirt Prices

Pull down bar $0.00 USD Child Size $15.00 USD Adult Size $20.00 USD Adult Extra Sizes $22.00 USD

Sizes

2T 3T 4T Small Medium Large 1XL 2XL 3XL 4XL

For the past few months I have been slowly getting more and more freaked out about events that are coming up.

Let me explain. A few months ago I received 2 letters (not sure why I got 2 but I did).  The letters were telling me of my 20, yes 20 year reunion that’s coming up on August 4^th. 20 years is a long time.  I went to the 10 year, with my ex, my older kids’ father, and had fun spending the night talking with a few people, one couple mostly about tattoo’s…yes very odd subject to talk about but it worked.  We left after a few hours and went home.  This time I’ve been in communication with some of the former classmates on facebook so I know what some of them do for a living.

This is why I’m starting to freak out. Some of them have really good jobs, some work for themselves others just really good companies. Me? I work for a crappy company who uses me for crappy pay. I have 3 kids, 2 of which give my new husband and me a very rough time while also dealing with a special needs child.  My oldest very recently got pissed off at his sister, and instead of hitting or kicking her like we’ve told him to not do in the past, kicked the wall and left a hole.  Not a big one but a hole none the less. He then freaked out and left without telling anyone where he was going and apparently not planning on coming back except for his clothes.

My daughter, acting very innocent, tells me in a text that she did nothing wrong but ask him to turn down his “phone radio” and go to her room to stay there until he did.  This didn’t happen.  She text him and told him to turn the crap down or she was going to snitch on him and get him in trouble.  This goes back and forth for a little while and he then kicks the wall.  He thought we were going to kill him and that’s why he left. He planned to move into his friend’s house with 7 other people in a 3 bedroom, change his payee and never come home. I put a stop to that.  He’s now home, not able to go anywhere and they both lost their phones and anything else to do.

My mother, who has been living in a nice apartment not very far from us in now moving again (after a year) and not packing anything. This of course is stressing for everyone, my sister, her husband and of course us, because if she doesn’t pack it means we may have to again and none of us want to.  We love her but I have a little one who gets into everything now so I can’t do it, my sister works weekends so she can’t do it and our husband’s just do it because we ask.

So with all that going on, the reunion is in 2 weeks, OMG 2 weeks! And I have the world’s worst job (yeah at least I have one right?), kids that drive me insane and no time to do anything with the baby that I want or need to get done.  What else could possibly happen…I know not good saying that out loud but there it is in black and white for all to read.

I get overwhelmed and stressed; I need to get away, a real vacation but can’t afford it. Maybe the blog thing will start to release some of my stress again. Some may be upsetting but hey I’ll give it a try again.

Thanks for reading, I hope I didn’t scare you off.