tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60656793883389853852024-03-13T13:17:40.420-07:00Welcome to My Holland HugsA little bit of my life, the life of my Son who was born with Down Syndrome, and our silly family.My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-20593317182183251782019-02-19T21:01:00.000-08:002019-02-19T21:01:23.855-08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Ramblings of a BiPolar Mind</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Feb 19th, 2019</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Being bipolar can really suck at times.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You can wake up completely happy then mot even a minute ate be so low that you feel like crying. Why does this happen? How can I make it stop without being so drugged up that I have no feelings at all?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The medication I was given when I moved out here made me feel more numb than I ever felt before and that was a month after the loss of my dad, the 2nd death in a very long line in a short amount of time. I had a Eason to feel numb but I didn’t want to so I made bad decisions and tried to feel something, anything and yet here I am 3 years later and now I can’t make that bad decision right. I have tried to make things work a second time and it’s just not working anymore. I can’t even “fake it” to make it. I know I need to talk to someone about everything but then I get accused of making stuff up…long story.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have tried to tell him that I want him to leave, yes even come straight out and said go and don’t come back but he won’t. He doesn’t make me happy, hasn’t in a while and yet I know it will all be my fault for “leading him on”; for “using him”…and anything else he can come up with to blame me for everything falling apart again. I want life back in me. I want to feel again and I just can’t with him always bringing me down. What can I do to change things? How can I make him understand it’s not just him it’s both of us and if I’m not in it emotionally then I can’t be in it physically. It doesn’t work that way. I have been accused of “cheating emotionally”, having feelings for other people, other people having feelings for me…I’m tired of it all. I don’t like being an emotionless rock, a glass wall that can shatter at any minute. I may show emotions here and there but they aren’t all real. I want real emotions again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My youngest makes me happy, but I need more than just his little smiles in my life. I want friends, real friends not just online ones, but people I can have come over and not feel like I’m going to be accused of cheating because they come over at night. I shouldn’t be afraid to have someone here and being watched on the cameras. They are here for my child’s safety, not to spy on me…yes spy; I said it. That’s how I feel; like I’m being watched in the living room and my son’s room at night. If I turn them off I get asked why, then accused of doing something I don’t want being watched. They should be off when I’m home and awake. I can see keeping them on while we sleep but they aren’t even recording so it’s kinda pointless to have them on unless you sit there and watch them “live” and then again it’s spying.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Wow this whole thing just made a major turn…me and my bipolar mind. I think I need to shut it off for now. Thanks for reading…and I know you will.</span></div>
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My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-4435396694178815992014-06-23T15:12:00.002-07:002014-06-23T15:12:45.842-07:00Life when you don't trust people sucks FUKITOL pills<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Doesn't that just say it all? For the 2 years I have been working (7 1/2 years with the same company) with major pain. I had a workers comp claim started over years ago when the pain first started, was seeing a few doctors for it only to be told after a year of therapy and acupuncture that its just "tennis elbow". I'm sorry, I call BS!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tennis_elbow" target="_blank">Tennis elbow</a> do you believe that? I have had the same and I do mean SAME pain for over 3 years...it has lightened up a little here and there but the pain is CONSTANT. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE I talk to about the pain I have says the SAME thing...<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carpal_tunnel_syndrome" target="_blank">Carpal Tunne</a>l. Not only carpal tunnel, but also <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthritis" target="_blank">Arthritis</a>. So what does this mean for me? One is correctable by having surgery done, how on Earth do you correct or decrease the pain from Arthritis?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Typing...my job, the only thing in the World I am very qualified for has ruined my life. What do I do if they decide I can't do it for a living anymore? I'm scared that I will lose my job and not be able to support my kids' needs. Raising 3 kids is a lot easier than raising 2 adults (both disabled) and 1 child (also disabled) and a husband (who doesn't work) on a small or no income. I'm scared to death! My stress level in the past 3 weeks has gone from 50% to 75% with a steady incline due to the recent discovery of my failing drug test for work. Oh yeah...me...little no drugs almost ever had a dirty test. Wanna know the funny part? It was for ibuprofen with codeine...not mine but my oldest son's pain meds. So I'm fuked if they decide to fire me for a dirty test. HOW DO I GET MYSELF INTO THIS SPOTS? Oh yeah, my husband told me if the pain is that bad take this to help ease it...well it didn't ease the pain even a little bit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm waiting to see what corporate says about my dirty test, along with my workers comp (2nd time) claim...should be interesting either way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh P.S.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have an open account in <a href="http://www.gofundme.com/95qv9g" target="_blank">GoFundMe</a>. </span> <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: center;">If you would like to donate for any reason, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm hoping to raise enough money (yes but not for me) to have my dad (who I found 1 year ago) and my brother (who I found a few months ago) come visit me. It's cheaper to have them come to me than to have my whole family go see them...and I have looked into all forms of travel from Bus, rental car, Train and Airplane. It is a lot cheaper for them to travel to me...train is about $1500 each round trip plus hotel. I put a small cushion in there just in case they want to do some fun stuff out here with the family. Please take a look and donate if you can or spread the word so others can help. If you were asking I would help you anyway I could. Any money left over after the trips will be donated to another person/family in need so the money will not go to waste.</span>. <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Thank you in advance!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Also, shirts are still being sold...sizes are listed on the <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6065679388338985385#editor/target=post;postID=205560900503242711;onPublishedMenu=posts;onClosedMenu=posts;postNum=16;src=postname" target="_blank">shirt page</a>. </span><br />
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My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-18406226626023476712014-01-07T11:46:00.001-08:002014-01-09T11:12:48.838-08:00Welcome to 2014So far this year hasn't been as bad as last year.<div><br></div><div>Last month we had a scare. Anthony just after his birthday got sick and just kept getting worse as the days passed. After a week he was so sick he was throwing up so I called off that day and ended up taking him to the hospital to get chacked out. They kept us there 3 days. He had gotten some kind of blood infection and it had everyone freaked out. They still don't know how he got it or how long it had been in his system but it's gone now. He's back to his normal happy child, making messes all over the place.</div><div><br></div><div>The year ended ruff for me, with him being sick, I came home from the hospital and I got sick, my other 2 kids were sick...it was just a bad house to be in.</div><div><br></div><div>The season just felt off for me. I had found out that a dear friend of mine had passed away back in October (didn't find out until after Thanksgiving) and hearing the news put me into a slight depression. We had never met in person, had always said we were going to but never did. The last time was because he had gotten sick. Hearing the news of his death hit a lot of his friends hard. I had known im for close to 15 years so losing him is hard. I miss his texts, R.I.P. Tony, you'll never be forgotten.</div><div><br></div><div>Along with his passing a few of my online DS families have lost members of their families, including a few children...R.I.P. Little Angels. </div><div><br></div><div>I have reconnected with a few people that have been missing from my life. 1 being my old high school friend, Rebecca (Becky) who just recently cameback to California a few weeks ago. She's already been over for a small get together...had a great night!</div><div><br></div><div>2nd being my best friend from Elementry school and Jr. High. I had missed her so much, she was like my sister from another mother (her mom and my mom have the same name so we all became close). I found out that her mom and brother passed away. I missed out on so much of her life, I'm glad Amy is back even if we haven't seen each other yet.</div><div><br></div><div>3rd. The one person I have tried to find for years. I thought he was dead because I couldn't find any trace of him and trust me I looked for a long time. I never gave up. I had found his brother on facebook, sent him a letter (snail mail), no reply and it was never returned. I messaged him on facebook, again no reply. I found this person's son and found out he was still alive. My heart stopped! Finally after looking for 20 years I found the one person I never should have let go of. Now we talk and its great.</div>My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-56411150982390509062013-05-14T14:48:00.001-07:002013-05-14T14:48:00.109-07:00Day 12...hmmm what to rename theseToday I went back to work, behind but quickly caught up and now waiting for the other people to enter in my reports. Yep, story of my life.<div><br></div><div>My headache is finally gone! YES!!! 4 days, a bunch of pain meds later it's finally gone! Sore throat is still there and my voice fades in and out but hey at least my headache is gone.</div><div><br></div><div>My mom and sister had lunch with my daughter today (late birthday present for her) and I guess my mom gave my sister some papers leaving her in charge if something were to happen during the surgery she's having done today.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm not bugged by this, to be honest I have a lot to deal with but to be put after my brother-in-law, that hurts. Both my husband and my sister's husband should have been last on the list, not second. I'm family! They don't want to make a hard choice regarding my mother's health. I'm sorry but who other than family should do that?</div><div><br></div><div>I may have kids, but I have always been there if my family needed me, always been the first to step up for anything important, yet I'm last on her list. I guess that really says where I fit in in her eyes...yes folks it hurts but hey it's been like that for a long time so I've dealt with the pain.</div><div><br></div><div>Maybe that's where my numbness comes from, always putting my feelings aside to make others happy.</div><div><br></div><div>Well, it's that time again, time to shut it down and head home to the people that love me...</div>My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-59997942171274393302013-05-14T14:34:00.001-07:002013-05-14T14:34:50.373-07:00Day 11 of working on myselfMaybe I should change the name of these posts or I'm at some point going to have 1000+.<div><br></div><div>Monday, I was sick so I stayed home in bed almost the whole day except when we took the baby to school...which made me feel sooo bad for doing. He cried and sat on the ground while we drove away. It's heart breaking to see him like that. :0(</div><div><br></div><div>My banana cream pie, still untouched should eat it tonight I think.</div>My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-69225789719878999442013-05-14T14:31:00.001-07:002013-05-14T14:31:04.900-07:00Day 10 of working on myselfI wasn't able to post or really type at all this weekend. If I wasn't dealing with a sick baby I was dealing with my own sickness and my husband's.<div><br></div><div>That's right, Mother's Day and I got sick. Not just sick, major headache, fever, sore throat...the works. My Mother's Day consisted of watching my husband (who got up after I went to bed and went to the living room) sleep on the couch. I wake up to day 2 of my headache with no end in site and I got in the shower, hoping to release it some, didn't work. Go out to the living room, see hubby sleeping, and the door unlocked.</div><div><br></div><div>My oldest left the house and my middle child was still sleeping so I yelled at her to get up (it was 8:30 by this time). She told me she had already taken her meds and that my husband had seen them both in fact take their meds. Ok, fine so she went back to bed? I don't think so! Get your lazy butt up!</div><div><br></div><div>The baby and I go and sit on the couch, watching tv...his fave show of course...when my older kid walks in about 9:30 like nothing was going on.</div><div><br></div><div>He then starts to tell Cyndi that she didn't get up in time so she shouldn't be eating breakfast rule is if your not up by 8:00 no breakfast and lunch isn't until 11:3-12). I don't want the kitchen to be an all day eat-fest with a few minutes between here and there where they try to sneak in a snack. Sorry KITCHEN IS CLOSED!</div><div><br></div><div>He like me wasn't around when she got up so he figured the same thing, that she didn't get up, but in cause your wondering, I am the mom and he doesn't need to remind her so I told him she was awake before 8 and to stop bugging her.</div><div><br></div><div>Off to a great start! Hubby, still sleeping through all this, doesn't budge.</div><div><br></div><div>I get the baby's meds and mine and make sure he takes them, then I start to make him some breakfast...hot oatmeal, because it's easy on his throat. He eats almost all of it 1 /2 packets) and wants down, I eat a different kind at the same time as he doesn't like me eating if he's on the floor.</div><div><br></div><div>So we're both done eating and I clean up our dishes, mind you neither kid has done their chores as of yet and we go back to watching tv. He's getting tired so I look for his sippy and his blanket and start walking back to the bedroom, he follows me he's my shadow on the weekends) and watches me make his bed, put his stuffies on there and he grabs his chicka from the living room and put her to bed then crawls in next to her. Yep, he does this each time we put him to bed now.</div><div><br></div><div>He loves the fact that he can get in and out of his bed without our help. He doesn't get up and play with stuff, unless he's not really tired and that has only happened 1 maybe 2 times since we changed his bed over.</div><div><br></div><div>I go back out into the living room, hubby is now awake, and start to watch tv (shows I've recorded over the past week or so). Now everyone wants something from me...both kids want to play on the computer, ipad etc. I tell them thank you all very much for making this day such a great day for me. Hubby yells at the kids for making me feel like shit and not thinking of me on Mother's Day....umm yeah, he yells at them but he's the one who slept in most of the day. We're both sick, but I'm still up doing stuff for my family because if I don't it won't get done.</div><div><br></div><div>Well, a few hours go by, baby wakes up and comes back to my lap. Dinner time is almost upon us now. Hubby tells me he has to go to the store and asked me what I wanted for dinner...I said it doesn't matter. My daughter had left during this time and was gone about an hour. He goes to the store, picks up a few bags of stuff and walks back in the door a few steps in front of my very hot and sweaty daughter. He saw her walking and just let her walk the rest of the way...nice guy right? It's like 100 outside and he lets her walk home.</div><div><br></div><div>She took her only money, walked down to the store and got me fudge cookies (which melted on the way back so she stuck them in the freezer before giving them to me) and a card that she made...last minute but hey she at least did something for me. I told her tank you for both, then she hands me a box, with a few things inside...most of which I had given her over the past few years...ok now she's trying too hard. The thought was there but sorry don't regift something that was given to you by the person your giving it to...it's just wrong. I told her it was a nice idea but I don't need them.</div><div><br></div><div>How do you tell someone nicely that it's rude?</div><div><br></div><div>I'm not sure if there is a nice way to say it really and not hurt the other person's feelings.</div><div><br></div><div>Dinner was beef brisket, red potatoes, veggies and rolls, he got me a banana cream pie for desert but I still wasn't feeling too well so we didn't have it.</div><div><br></div><div>Yes, that was Mother's Day for me. What can I say, my family loves me...at times. lol</div>My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-62166415155274288352013-05-10T14:36:00.001-07:002013-05-10T14:36:39.259-07:00Day 9 of working on myselfThe past few days I have been busy so I haven't been able to really post on here. I have a sick baby and husband at home and for the past few days I have been taking NyQuil at night and it leaves me drained the next day, by the time it wears off it's time to go home and I have a few things to do before I do that.<br />
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So needless to say I haven't had the energy to type. Ok there, I said it, I got lazy...better?<br />
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I'll finish this later...so until then...to be continued<br />
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My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-51938397855053568002013-05-08T21:29:00.001-07:002013-05-08T21:29:03.705-07:00Day 8 of working on myselfEmotions.<br />
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Its a big meaningful word but can hide so much. I sit at work as I type these posts and I keep telling myself that doing it helps me a little more every day. <br />
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My emotions or lack there of (most of the time) is really hard for me to explain to people and for me to tell my therapist that I don't feel some kind of connection to my loved ones leaves me feeling more empty inside.<br />
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It's Wednesday, I still have a long way to go but after yesterday's visit I didn't feel like writing on my blog but wanted to share some today. A person who drinks is told to take it one day at a time, what do you do if you feel like your emotions are locked in a safe? Is there a safe cracker out there for the emotionally locked up?<br />
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So as I close out this blog (heading home in less than 10 minutes), I want to give you all something to think about.<br />
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Why is it that I can feel sad or cry when I see or read a sad story online or TV) but I can't cry about my "family friends" or family members? Maybe the answer will come out one of these days, I just hope it's soon. I feel like I'm failing as a parent all over again.My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-4596558149685441452013-05-06T18:57:00.003-07:002013-05-06T18:57:33.191-07:00Day 7 of working on myselfToday is Monday, bring it on!<br />
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So umm yeah, work was not what I expected, in fact far less than I expected. On average I get most work over the weekend so when I come in on Monday I have a zillion reports to prep for a massive sending spree on Tuesday. This week? I had a total of 12 reports to send and all on different trains. Now I'm getting use to my coworkers not giving me much, but for a Monday? This was my slowest EVER!<br />
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On a brighter side, I got Hulu Plus to work so I was able to catch up on some shows. lol<br />
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Man I need a better job, one that really works people, not one that lets us do nothing all day. How can a company let 11 people do that and that's just this yard, I'm not sure about the other yards. I hear this one does more...how?<br />
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We have a bunch of people sitting in the office all morning and not doing any work, and the sad thing is...they all make more than me!<br />
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Yeah I know, some of you are saying this is a dream job, or it's a paying job, but honestly, it makes my day feel like it's going on forever. Like it's never going to end...help!!<br />
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Ok, on that note...time to go! :0)My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-63995956018095114002013-05-06T18:57:00.001-07:002013-05-06T18:57:26.366-07:00Day 6 of working on myselfSo far I'm a day behind but I figured the weekends would be hard to work on but I am trying.<br />
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SO this weekend my husband started playing World of Warcraft, or as they say WOW. Yeah I agree, big wow. To me it looks like a more advanced, yet boring, version of Diablo. You get to design who you want to be if you have the program or money to do so). You can buy items, much like you can with the SIM's 3, but in reality, it's a very expensive computer game to play. I like simple, you buy a game you play a game and if you get bored can stop and play again when your ready to. Not these, when I want and have the money to play I can, if not I lose out on any money I pay...to me that's just dumb.<br />
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I do like the graphics, but all in all, I'm fine with the SIM 3 and Diablo lll, they can have the game that charges per month, I just don't want to be the one paying for it all the time...smh.<br />
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My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-29402076291347003352013-05-05T12:19:00.001-07:002013-05-05T12:19:15.469-07:00Day 5 of working on myselfI didn't post this yesterday as I was sitting with a sick baby all day. <br />
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The night before (Friday night) we were all eating dinner when we noticed Anthony wasn't eating much and he felt a little warm. We gave him some children's medicine to bring it down and put him to bed. That was at 7:00. By 11:00 we heard him crying. I went back to check on him and he was very hot. Temp was 102.7 so we rushed him to the ER. A few hours later we got released to go home, his temp was down to 101.0 by 2am. He went right to sleep and woke up with yet another high fever.<br />
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He sat in my arms all day, fading to sleep here and there. Today he's doing fine, temp is back down to a normal level and he's playing around with his toys.My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-55839367318180055332013-05-03T16:18:00.001-07:002013-05-03T16:18:12.606-07:00Day 4 of working on myselfToday I'm going to talk about the one thing I just can't understand.<br />
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As a parent with only 1 of my parents ever having been a part of my life I have a big problem understanding how a parent could disown a child for reasons that make them disabled. My older kids, being disabled is rather hard for some people to understand. My son, Bi-polar, Anger Management issues, had a stroke at the age of 9 (some of my family say 7, either way it was a medication induced coma leading to stroke) and because of the stroke has a speech problem and learning problem. He has a low IQ, (but who doesn't now days, right?) but he wants to be able to do things like play basket ball (even if he sucks at it), be an Auto Mechanic so he can pick up on girls), get a job and move out on his own so no one can tell him what to do anymore.<br />
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Ok so those are good goals, but lets face it, he'll never really be able to do any of them. He does play basket ball at home with the neighbors (but he really does suck at it). Being an Auto Mechanic? No, I'm sorry but I just don't see that happening at any time in my lifetime. It's not that he couldn't do it if he really wanted to, I believe anyone can do something if they try...try, that's a big 3 letter word, try. My son will not try. We told him since he likes going to the library to check out repair books and try to read them. He checks out books and they sit, untouched for 2 weeks, then go back slightly dusty). When my husband works on one of our cars, (simple things like install a radio/sub, change the oil, check fuses, air filter...very simple things) my son doesn't go and watch or try to help in any way. <br />
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When I was growing up I would be right there, watching and learning. I can do most things when it comes to cars and if I can't do it I'll at least know what's wrong so I can tell if I'm getting screwed by the "real" mechanic or not (thank you mom for letting me know they will try to take money for nothing...lesson very well learned over the years).<br />
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With him not doing that, he wants to go to school...I have to take off time to help him get all that set up...bosses aren't as understanding as kids when you tell them "Hey I need to go take my 21 and 20 year olds to the school and get them signed up in classes". Yeah, sorry I may not love my job anymore, but at least I still have one, that until I find a replacement for, will have to do.<br />
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Ok, now on to my ever so loving and kind hearted daughter. Yep, the whole reason for this blog is her. Her dad and I were together for close to 14 years. In that time the kids went to live with my mom, my choice not his, because face it I couldn't handle everything and it was making me more depressed than I am even now. They went to life with her from the age of 4 on and in that time I would go see them, no matter where I lived, I would go see them just about every weekend if not every weekend...even while I was working. My "husband" only went because I went only 1 car). After we split, he saw the kids, yes kids once a month if that. Now it's been 6 years give or take, since we split. In that time my son got moved to a school in Utah for 3 years. I would be there every other month for the first year and every 6 months after that because it got to be too costly on me but I would talk to him on the phone 2 sometimes 3 times a week.<br />
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His father? Saw him 1 time he was in Vegas with a chick he had met and made a small side trip to see his son...Father of the year that man is!...he never called that I know of, if he did it was maybe 1 time.<br />
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My daughter never left the State for school or anything else and she only saw her father maybe 4 times in the same 6 years and each one of those times, he was with his girlfriend (now ex) and sat in the garage and drank beer with my mom's ex husband (very long story). I was living in the house with my daughter so I was always there even if I wasn't "the parent" at the time, we still did stuff, granted not as much as we should have and I'm sorry to say that was my fault, but hey I didn't say I was Mother of the Year or anything.<br />
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Now skip ahead a few years, I had another son, my ex got married. Neither of his kids were invited to the wedding and in fact my son was still out of State at the time so he didn't even get to meet her before the wedding. She's a real umm piece of work that one. She's older than him, not sure how much and to be honest I could care less...at least he's not still dating someone his mothers age, or his kids's age not joking).<br />
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He and his "new" wife, helped us out a lot when my son came back home. Now 18 years old, a major pain in the butt, but home and refusing to take medication (when he was living at my moms), forced to at my house. We moved and had nothing, nothing at all but a few baby items and our clothes. His wife found a church online somewhere, got on a mailing list and found us a bed, dining table, entertainment center and a friend of theirs gave us some cabinets, fridge that didn't work after it came to us, but it was a nice thought) and a few other things. So yeah they helped us out. My daughter (who I had been fighting for custody over at this time) came to live with us after a few months. Then everything was "fine". Their dad would come see them and even take them back to his house for a few days, this wasn't all the time but more than it had been in the past few years which was great.<br />
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Then bam! His wife started to like take over my house. She had to know everything that was going on, what was said, who said it...like she was trying to be my mother or something. They were giving us food from a food-bank he works in, they filled our car once and when we got it home realized we had too much so we gave some of it to another family who needed it (pay it forward when you can). She flipped a gasket over that and cut us off. Now I'm very thankful that for the first year of us living in the apartment, with a new born and 2 teenage kids, we never had to buy diapers (all came from the food-bank), because with that savings we were able to buy a good fridge, couch and a few other things that have our lives better. Now she's pissed that we gave food, that was going to go bad soon to people that had more in 1 apartment than we had and another family that was struggling to put food on the table for their 5 kids (so we helped out 13 other people with the food they gave us for a total of 18 people eating off 1 car load of food).<br />
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Ok, she got pissed, I let her have it. I had held back as much as i could and I let her have it. I grew a backbone and told her it's my house and what ever happens in it stays there. Her house (which I have never been to, know where it is or even care about) is hers to tell what to do and when to do it but she can stop telling me what to do. The visits started slowing down for both kids after that. I wasn't "allowed" to talk to my ex, everything has to go through her now.<br />
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So skip ahead a few years, (3 total) and here we are back in December 2012 (Merry Christmas). My daughter has this problem, she is disabled for a few different reasons, OCD (sorry but really we all have it, just some show more than others...putting CD's in order just being an example), Bi-Polar, Manic Depression, Pathological Lying, and the BIG one, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). Yes its very real and not "treatable". So ok,she tells lies all the time and does what she wants (yeah what teenager doesn't right?)<br />
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Christmas the kids went to visit my ex's mother (who by the way doesn't even talk to her son or his loving wife because for some reason the wife is mental and no one likes her...got this from a bunch of people by the way). They were there all day and came home, had a great time. Then it comes time for their dad's "visit". His wife texts the kids to tell them Merry Christmas. Not sure how it all went down but they didn't want anything to do with my daughter after the texts. She said something "hurtful" to his wife that his mother had said and I guess it was lies so she was told she's not welcome over there anymore.<br />
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Ok, hey it's Christmas and his wife is being a bitch to my kids? Nope, I don't think so. Then she tells me that I need to have my daughter locked up and take her phone away from her. Ok, took phone, but not locking her up because of stupid stuff.<br />
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A few months go by, it's now April...wow the days just fly by don't they? April my son gets a text from her and she wants him to come visit for the weekend of the 22nd (after his birthday on the 11th but before my daughters on the 27th). They want him to help with their yardsale (moving again). She sent me a text telling me that my ex will pick him up on the 21st around noonish. A few hours go by and I get a nasty text from her telling me my daughter is psycho and she's now blocked from calling or texting either of them anymore and that I need to have her committed big time. I had no idea what happened to bring this text to me so I asked...man. <br />
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(Texts from my daughter and his wife)<br />
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Now I can't tell you anything before this next set because it's been removed from my daughter phones but here's the last of their convo:<br />
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Wife: Dad dumped dana at a homeless shelter...Was never stabbed...Your are nutz!!<br />
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Daughter: He was stabbed in the leg by his ex. He sold her the knife. <br />
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Daughter: That's a lie. Dana was never in one. She's sane and doing fine.<br />
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Daughter: Ask my mom. He was stabbed and he was dumped.<br />
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Wife: Dad blocked you...and I'm doing the same. You are not welcome in our life anymore. Goodbye.<br />
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Wife: Shut the fuck up...You are mistaken just luke (like from what I can get) all your lies...Nasty, hateful bitch. You can only blame yourself.<br />
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Daughter: Geez u don't even realize he has a stab wound? Long jagged scar on his leg. He ws never attacked by a dog.<br />
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Ok so that's the last of their convo dated April 2, 2013 at 7:19 P.M. (I can post pictures for anyone claiming this never took place.<br />
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After that I told my daughter to just stop talking to her and then she went off on me. My daughter, went off on me. Told me that I'm a terrible mother, that I don't punish her correctly...blah blah blah.<br />
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I told her to leave my house. She and her brother in the past have just walked around the complex and after about 20 minutes would come back and say they were sorry...she left. I mean really left. An hour later and a phone call to the cops later there was still no word from her. I called her boyfriend and said if she shows up there to let me know and we waited. Nothing, no one heard or saw from her. I went out in the car looking, her boyfriend and his brother went walking, looking for her and still nothing.<br />
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Cops came to the house, told me she's over 19 and not missing just run off and can't do anything for now. then I get a call from a Church telling me she's there and wants to come home.<br />
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My husband went and picked her up, brought her home and told me he was taking her to arrowhead to have her locked up...her choice. She wanted it.<br />
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Now the whole reason I started this blog. My daughter now 20, was disowned by her father, granted he wasn't around much, but he still see's and talks to his son who lives in the same house as his daughter. How can you do that to you kids? Don't you see how this would cause more problems for a brother and sister that already fight? Not seeing one isn't "fair" to the other. They are both "children" (mentally) and doing this to them is a hard thing for them to deal with. I know they need to grow up but would you do that to your kids? At any age?<br />
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How could a parent do that to their child.<br />
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In my daughter's defense, he was stabbed by a knife he GAVE his ex. She cheated on him, pissed him off which pissed her off and yes she did stab him. He did drop her off at a mental Institute (months later) and she is doing fine and last I heard had a baby (by someone else who was abusing her).<br />
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So there, the longest blog I have ever typed before...can I just say I love my iPad Mini with the fold out keyboard? I downloaded the blogger app and use it to type at work then upload when I get home. Works out great so far. :0)My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-34499453070667172102013-05-02T19:13:00.003-07:002013-05-05T12:20:51.676-07:00Day 3 of working on myselfToday I was so bored at work. Someone yesterday lost (misplaced) one of the cameras for work so it left me with very little to do.<br />
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So today I was sitting here trying to not fall asleep and thinking. Ok so I have good days and bad days, we all do right? I just wish my good days out numbered my "bad" days. Now my bad days may not be bad for some of you but for me, any day where I'm sad inside is a bad day. I have more of those then I would like at this point.<br />
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I want to be happy, I really do. My husband was looking online yesterday (while I was at work) and he was looking up the concerts that I use to go to every year. Most of the concerts have stopped coming to California. I'm talking Mayhem, I loved going to that. This year, crappy bands that I would not be willing to pay to see. Out of the line up I heard of 2 that I like, 2! That's the only concert being put on this year that I would have liked to have gone to but I'm not.<br />
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Now your saying to yourself, it's a concert. You need to understand, I use to go to at least 5 a year before Anthony was born, 2 after I got preg and none now. Yeah having a child changes your life, but to cut everything out? Maybe that's why I'm getting so depressed lately. I miss out on fun, fun with other people, fun outside of the house, FUN!<br />
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I forget what fun is anymore. I use to go out for Starbucks and talk for a few hours every few days, don't do that anymore. I use to go shoot pool here and there with a friend or 2, not anymore...hell the place I use to go to is gone now.<br />
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Bowling, they raised the prices and cut back on the breakfast they served with it and now it's even less time for a higher price.<br />
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What is this world coming to?! We can't afford to do the stuff we use to so hey I got an idea, raise the prices so even less people can afford to go out. Yeah that's it, HIGHER PRICES FOR EVERYONE! (insert evil laugh here)<br />
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Ok yeah it was lame but hey it's true. Car insurance, don't get me started. "The laws have changed, get a new price quote today". Ok so car insurance goes down so more people get it? Ok That would be great if it worked that way. Car insurance goes down, health insurance goes up...DOUBLE for where I work. Hmm don't see a savings there. I know wait...rent. It's the same...oh but then gas is higher and always going up or down. Electric? Hmm, we have been saving on our monthly bill the past few months. Cable? No...that went up and got crappy. Internet? Hmm lost it at work, but hey I got better stuff at home now than I do on my phone...ok there's a plus. Food. Did you know that a family of 5, (4 adults and 1 child) eat about $600-$800 a month in food? That's not including if we go out, that's just at home and taking my lunch to work (side note, need better lunches for work...getting tired of sausage biscuits). <br />
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We decided that it's starting to get too hot to cook every night so we wanted to try and make more salads and such. Fruit is so high now that buying fruit and making a fruit salad for dinner is very costly. How do you make dinner, without heating the place up too much?<br />
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We'll try to figure that out later. My goal for today is complete. I wrote a blog for yesterday yeah it's short who cares?) and I wrote one for today (I make up for the short one today).<br />
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Happy reading everyone!<br />
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My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-72453204826561404742013-05-02T19:13:00.001-07:002013-05-05T12:20:02.824-07:00Day 2 of working on myself.I didn't post anything yesterday, yeah I know 2 days into my "trying to change" kick and I've already messed it up. <br />
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I had planned on doing it when I got home from work then we went to the store and that took a few hours so by the time we got home I was soo tired. We called for pizza and crashed out early. My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-71938536664100564592013-04-30T16:57:00.001-07:002013-05-05T12:19:33.575-07:00Working on myself (Day 1)In the past few weeks a lot has been happening. Not necessarily making me buys but emotionally busy. Let me explain.<br />
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A few weeks ago my oldest turned the big 21. On that day a friend passed away. Now I wasn't really close to her but I've known her and the family for about 10 years so we're like family in a way. I have another friend, who is close like family, who's sister has been in the hospital fighting to stay alive for the past few months. She's not doing well and isn't expected to live much longer. She's on hourly blood transfusions so she's not able to leave the hospital and even go home to feel more comfortable. <br />
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This past weekend my family went to a baby shower, which happened to be on the same day as my daughter's 20th birthday. Yep, 2 birthdays in the same month, 16 days apart. We all had a really great time there, even my youngest didn't act up and ate cake (which he doesn't normally do).<br />
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In the next few weeks a few things are coming up, back to back appointments for me, my daughter and both boys, then I find out last week that my mom is having surgery done today, still no clue why and my sister has been trying really hard to find out.<br />
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Work just did their yearly medical meeting, which as for some of my friends know means...higher prices. Now I expect a few bucks here and there but doubling the health coverage is a bit much. I have been with this company for just over 6 1/2 years and barely make $1 more than I started.<br />
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I'm tired all the time, I feel my depression getting deeper at times and now I'm getting the feeling that my whole life has been one let down...ok maybe not a let down but for the past week I have been thinking about who I'm close with. Have I ever really loved anyone? I mean I tell people I love you, I have feelings for them but if something were to happen to them, would I cry?<br />
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I was talking with my therapist about this, we had just started on the subject but now I can't get my mind off of it. Have I ever really loved? What does that mean? Love, the love that you feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest love. No. I can't personally say I have that kind of love for anyone really. I think about what I would feel like if someone I love left me. The thing is, the people I have ever loved in the past have all left me and I could care less about them now.<br />
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I can't say that I even miss any of the people from my past. Not my first love, not my first pet, nothing, no one. I have known death for as long as I can remember yet no one that has passed away has really made an impact on my life. I lost pets, many pets, even cried over a few of them but now? Nothing. We had a cat get hit a few years ago when we lived with my mom, had 2 cats put to sleep, one of which I watched (yet felt detached), and 1 dog get put down. I cried when the cat was put down but quickly recovered. Yes, I had stopped crying by the time we walked out and got in the car.<br />
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Now sure it wasn't my cat but I had known him since he was a few months old but nothing now. I felt I really loved a guy in the past, had been with him on and off for years and now? I can't say I even miss him anymore. The one person I thought would be a part of my life forever and I don't want him around me.<br />
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I got married just over a year ago, yes I wanted it, but now I feel like I'm just in the marriage, not a part of it. Being honest with the ones who love you hurts so much because you see the pain you cause them while your being so very honest about your feelings. I feel numb. How can I stop the numb feeling and start to feel life again?<br />
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Maybe if I start putting my emotions down in here again I'll start to feel again. Letting myself know that I felt before may cause me to feel again. Lord knows I'm tired of feeling numb all the time. <br />
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My son, the youngest, makes me smile, laugh but I still feel even detached from him. I've noticed I get angry at home more, that's not me. <br />
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Love. Love. Love...where are you? Let me feel you again! Come back into my heart so I can feel like a person again. Being sad all the time is not good for anyone.My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-14571479103270490892013-01-02T13:25:00.000-08:002013-01-02T14:06:21.793-08:00This is your system on Depression<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">First, just let me say I'm a little
upset now. I had this perfect blog typed and published, then because the
preview showed me something I didn't like I closed the window and now it's all
gone, so I'm a little worse off than I was before...that being said this is a
second attempt to make this blog.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">(these
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I'm making this blog very
personal, something I have done int he past but to this level.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">People that have depression, can't
tell another person what they feel and have that person understand it. So
in an attempt to help those who don't fully understand I am going to the
internet and posting some articles I have found so far.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Article #1:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A girl (I think) was asking how she
can help her friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How do depressed people feel inside?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I know it sounds like a stupid question, they are obviously
feeling down. But one of my close friends is a manic depressive and he always
says I’ll never understand how he's feeling. When i ask him to tell me he
doesn't. I want to try and understand him, so i was wondering if anyone has had
experience with anything like this so i could maybe at least try to understand
him. I want to help him.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Here are a few answers they received:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1. When I’m depressed I feel like somebody close to me just
died. I feel heavy and weighed down and my heart and stomach actually hurt. I
want to cry over everything and can’t take any kind of stress without a having
a meltdown.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2. I've been depressed and I can tell you that it's
really awful. Everything looks really bleak, you look at yourself and wonder
why you even bother because life doesn't feel worth getting up in the morning
for and you would rather be dead than carry on. You look at the future and
instead of seeing a way out, you just see a load of closed doors.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">You can't handle your life anymore,
the slightest thing makes you want to cry and never get up again, and you feel
stressed all the time and speak to people in ways that normally you wouldn't.
You kind of distance yourself from people because you think they won't
understand.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">You don't feel any motivation anymore to do anything constructive or
worthwhile, because it all seems so pointless.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3. Read Kat reply she has it
summed up, well almost. It causes you to feel like you want to shut the world
out, do not want to speak to anyone, not even shopkeepers. Want to spend time
alone. Low self-worth to, because you’re so depressed, the depressed person doesn't care
about themselves much, appearance etc. life feels numb to the person, like
you’re a tiny ant in a big wasps nest. That’s how i would describe
it. Also the days just roll into one and never seem to end, and when you sleep
at night you pray that you don't wake up the next morning, all the
day to day fight has gone from you, just going through the motions. Unless
you've had it yourself, you could never possibly understand what it’s like for
that person. Also the person does not want sympathy, as they feel patronized by
it, just try to be normal with them and be there when they need you,
but don't push or you will alienate the person too. But
well done Kat almost spot on.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">4. Like nothing ever goes right
for them. They feel low, gloomy, sad, miserable, and feel like even though
their lives seem to be quite perfect (they might be attractive, have a nice
background, have a good job) they still don't feel happy. They usually feel
people expect them to be something and that puts huge pressure on them to be
"perfect" and they are overly-critical. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The truth is, if you're not depressed, you never WILL understand someone who is
depressed. It's best off if you are just there for your friend when he needs
you. He will thoroughly appreciate your friendship.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">5. Mental illnesses are hard to
sum up and although I know you’re trying to help your friend but he may find it
frustrating and think your trying to make it out to be a small problem and one
feeling. I suffered from depression from the age of 15 and you can read about
my experience if you click on my profile and my answered questions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Tell your friend that although you
can only try to understand how he is feeling and you may never really know
that you’re always there for him and he can always talk to you.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Don't probe too much and he will naturally start to talk to you when
he is feeling comfortable giving you a better understanding. You are a
true friend and you are doing all you can even doing research but
your friend must help himself first</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Article #2:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html" target="_blank">Adventures in depression</a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">The reason for this blog. For the past 3 almost 4 years I have been
suffering from some form of depression. The past year or so has been getting
worse. I'm on the verge of tears, I hate going to work, I hate going home
from work and I hate leaving after I get home. The only thing that has made me
feel somewhat human is Anthony sitting in my lap, looking at me and smiling.
Once he's off my lap, it all returns. </span></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am told almost daily
that I can switch my mood into a better mood whenever I feel like it and that I
choose to be depressed. I say something and get told I'm wrong, then if
that isn't good enough, he goes online and proves to me that I'm wrong, even if
I'm half right I'm still wrong. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I'm depressed, nothing
can change my mood, nothing has made it better and telling me that I'm not giving
you what you want isn't making me feel better. My feelings are not about you
but the way you make me feel makes it worse. I can't
show romantic feelings when I don't feel romantic. I've bee married
for a little over a year, I should be happy and I'm not. I should want to go
home and be with him and I don't. I shouldn't want to cry all the time,
always on the verge and sometimes one sneaks out when I can't hold it back
anymore. I cry over everything, EVERYTHING!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I watch sad movies and
can't cry, I read a sad story and can't stop crying.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">What is the cause of all
this? I have no clue. Some of it is caused from the medication
I have to take for the rest of my life...yes the rest of my life. My
thyroid medication can cause depression and does with most people that take it.
So no I can't switch my mood to make myself happy. I would like to
meet someone that can...until then I'm waiting for the test results from my
doctor to see where we go next.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixzMclmpmGCr6yz1ATHGiKPQzSrNQKv_3q_vcwKnqckYNpW0ey5THTjGaMIUdo4rH2v79HVxgP-iOyIkZqgElOecsa4Q4y-X6qOfM1AKNUu4xWn2iNrGlecWCkQjasV9GIg0YXspAR1gJ6/s1600/Dep+4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixzMclmpmGCr6yz1ATHGiKPQzSrNQKv_3q_vcwKnqckYNpW0ey5THTjGaMIUdo4rH2v79HVxgP-iOyIkZqgElOecsa4Q4y-X6qOfM1AKNUu4xWn2iNrGlecWCkQjasV9GIg0YXspAR1gJ6/s320/Dep+4.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-oWeAHi8a2yJTA9qYixAeWdM94nkc5nTLABkMfAS12OxtHFSPMWR1AitLHMzSCevN5DG1T2PYhPnHcdtTlYP8x8Jsw_jyzHZYFfv8J1rTeBlaJo0Wbnroo5TgijGXrNK8s9Lh3rPPahae/s1600/Dep+5.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-oWeAHi8a2yJTA9qYixAeWdM94nkc5nTLABkMfAS12OxtHFSPMWR1AitLHMzSCevN5DG1T2PYhPnHcdtTlYP8x8Jsw_jyzHZYFfv8J1rTeBlaJo0Wbnroo5TgijGXrNK8s9Lh3rPPahae/s320/Dep+5.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-25882722001504700772012-10-17T14:39:00.000-07:002012-10-17T14:39:03.436-07:00The past few weeks<br />
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The past few days people have been asking me “what’s wrong”?
I am now going to try and explain some of what I've been feeling for the past
few days.<o:p></o:p></div>
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On Oct 7<sup>th</sup> my daughter, my youngest son, Anthony
and I attended the 2012 Buddy Walk for the Inland area group, Up for Down. We
went there first under the impression that it was only going to be $5.00 each
because we didn't want to par-take in the walk, but visit with everyone there
and try and sell some shirts that we had made prior to the walk. My husband and I were told a few weeks before
this that the shirts would be great at the buddy walk, no where were we told
not to show up and start selling them but were in fact told to possibly set up
a table there. I had told the women that
said this to me that I didn't think I would have enough time to get such an amount
for that many people but I would show up and possibly take orders for what I didn't have.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So here we were at the walk, with a small box of shirts and
yes raffle tickets that we had made for an iPad 2 that we were trying to help
raise even more money for our team with.
The tickets read iPad 2 raffle and all proceeds over the cost of the
iPad 2 would go to the group Up for Downs through DSALA under our team AAA
(Anthony’s Amazing All-Stars). We almost
had enough for the product when we showed up at the walk on the 7<sup>th</sup>
and had sold only a few tickets there along with a few shirts; one of which had
been ordered before the walk date.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We get to the walk and I am charges $25 for both me and my
daughter, which is far more than the $5 my husband said would be ok to spend,
so I had over paid by $40, which I’m a little upset but the money goes to the
programs we ourselves were trying to raise money for so I was on the fence
about the whole thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The baby and I left my daughter at the table that someone
was kind enough to give to us while we were there, and with me carrying him
started the walk with the whole group. I
walked about a ¼ of the mile and he was asleep so I turned back only to see one
of the ladies I had talked to before over by my daughter asking her a bunch of
questions. I walk over there, put the
baby in his stroller and start talking to the lady.<o:p></o:p></div>
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She first asked me if I had sold any tickets, I told her we
had sold what I believed was 5 at the time as I didn't know the exact number. I was then told that it was a problem, not
the complete nature of the problem but that it was causing a problem, so I had
my daughter put the shirts and the tickets into the car and I then talked to
member of the DSALA on the ladies cell phone (I’m not using names of the people
involved because I personally do not want or need any more trouble from
anyone).<o:p></o:p></div>
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I talked to him for about 20 minutes and I told him I
understand that it was causing some problems and had in fact told my daughter
to put everything away. I was not aware
that I was causing so many problems, trying to raise money for this group that
we had become semi close to over the past year.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We left the walk a little early one because the baby would
never let me put him down long enough to relax my arms, 2 the walk was over and
there was just a bunch of games going on and 3 I was tired from not getting
much rest during the week prior to this.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I get home and relax. A few days go by and I post that the
last day for the ticket sale would be October 19<sup>th</sup>, so to jump in
and buy before its too late…I had posted this on a few different DS groups on Facebook. On Friday I get a private message from
someone I rather like, from the biggest group that I connect with (which I have
been rather laps on since all this started).<o:p></o:p></div>
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I told her I would call her the next day because I was due
in her area and it would be great to see her and give her the shirt that she
had wanted to get. I called her and my
whole day just went down from there. She
told me that she had received a call and was told to take my site info down off
the site because what I was doing was wrong and was causing a lot of problems…that
I wasn't even aware of. <o:p></o:p></div>
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She explained to me that because it had the group name Up
for Downs and DSALA on the tickets that it was illegal. Yes you heard me right; the names make it
Illegal for me to sell. It could cause
more problems for everyone involved if I don’t stop selling them and that my
site was removed because of the tickets on there. I also had posted that the money over the
cost of the shirts was going to be part of our donation to the DSALA Buddy walk
in November. I was told that the shirts
are nice but that I needed to take the site down, remove everything about it
and then I could re-post it just for the shirts, not saying where the money
would go.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I didn't have time to change it that day as we were just
walking out the door to go to a birthday party, the first party we have been
invited to for a child since Anthony was born so of course we wanted to be
there. We show up, had a good time and go home.
The next day I’m sitting in my living room with my kids watching TV with
the baby in my lap when my phone goes off.
It’s the guy from DSALA calling me.
I answer the phone; here is a VERY brief part of the call, or at least
the jest of it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Him: Hi we talked on the phone the other day…<o:p></o:p></div>
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Me: Yes I remember, sorry I haven’t called; I've been rather
sick and am just starting to feel better.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Him: I’m calling to make sure you understand….I need you to
remove the site and stop selling the shirts.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Overall the whole conversation made me upset and rather hurt
that something so minor as the woman I had talked to at the walk could have
fixed to everyone being upset and it causing me so many problems over names
that I didn't even know I couldn't use on tickets. Forget the shirts; I was more worried about
the tickets so we could get enough to give the iPad 2 away without a loss. So yes, now I’m depressed, upset and very
hurt by everyone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I like the group but now I feel like I’m alone in this
again, like everything we have done was for nothing and I’m not even sure if we’ll
attend anymore events for the group we had once felt so close with again.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As for the Buddy walk next month; I’m not sure but my
stomach is in a bunch of knots just thinking about it.<br />
The shirt site is back up and running, without the tickets or any names other
than my own on there now. Please feel
free to share the site, tell your friends about these great shirts for kids and
adults with Down Syndrome.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://myhollandhugs.blogspot.com/">Down Syndrome Shirts</a></div>
My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-2055609005032427112012-10-15T13:25:00.003-07:002014-06-23T15:08:20.498-07:00Rockin An Extra Chromosome<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5n6XbCf5c_UIFFeETEdopbuUq-1BngHWbzSs9GimkbT_P8u8-TXVUbT_jLR8qbNWlDNYCKfDq_MUZiTzGkk8xDlmvCkbi2mZ803rwdPD9rxmRi5_P6K4jdEpCGHOTsoRtwpyg0oitqmxV/s1600/2012-08-28+17.56.32.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5n6XbCf5c_UIFFeETEdopbuUq-1BngHWbzSs9GimkbT_P8u8-TXVUbT_jLR8qbNWlDNYCKfDq_MUZiTzGkk8xDlmvCkbi2mZ803rwdPD9rxmRi5_P6K4jdEpCGHOTsoRtwpyg0oitqmxV/s320/2012-08-28+17.56.32.jpg" height="75" width="134" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">These shirts were designed by my brother in law.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Find my Facebook page <a href="http://www.facebook.com/fantomkat">Facebook FantomKat</a> and we can connect there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is the front of the shirt.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is the back of the shirt.
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All the shirts are made of 100% Cotton, pre-shrunk.
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Right now we don't have color options as they are the color of the Down Syndrome Ribbon already.
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We do have child and adult sizes and soon we will be adding parents shirts, which will be male and female designed so check back all the time.
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Allow up to 2 weeks for shipping. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> **ATTENTION DUE TO THE HIGH DEMAND IT MAY TAKE UP TO 3 WEEKS FOR DELIVERY, SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE**</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will email you to let you know for sure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you.
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For the families that would like to order and live in the San Gabriel, San Bernardino, Riverside areas send me a message stating how many you would like to buy, we can deliver them to you personally, minus tax and shipping, so if you are in the area DO NOT BUY FROM HERE but instead message me on Facebook and we will arrange delivery.
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">New sizes, 2T, 3T and 4T. When you place the order, in the notes put what size you want if it's not listed.</span></div>
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<option value="Pull down bar">Pull down bar $0.00 USD</option>
<option value="Child Size">Child Size $15.00 USD</option>
<option value="Adult Size">Adult Size $20.00 USD</option>
<option value="Adult Extra Sizes">Adult Extra Sizes $22.00 USD</option>
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<option value="3T">3T </option>
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<option value="Small">Small </option>
<option value="Medium">Medium </option>
<option value="Large">Large </option>
<option value="1XL">1XL </option>
<option value="2XL">2XL </option>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have a spot here for private donations. If you would like to donate for any reason, </span><span style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm hoping to raise enough money (yes but not for me) to have my dad (who I found 1 year ago) and my brother (who I found a few months ago) come visit me. It's cheaper to have them come to me than to have my whole family go see them...and I have looked into all forms of travel from Bus, rental car, Train and Airplane. It is a lot cheaper for them to travel to me...train is about $1500 each round trip plus hotel. I put a small cushion in there just in case they want to do some fun stuff out here with the family. Please take a look and donate if you can or spread the word so others can help. If you were asking I would help you anyway I could. Any money left over after the trips will be donated to another person/family in need so the money will not go to waste.</span></span><br />
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My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-71376301172737770412012-09-06T14:18:00.003-07:002012-09-06T14:18:39.312-07:00Anthony's first visit to the Dentist :0/Hi everyone, for those of you that are new to my blogs let me welcome you with open arms and tell you to go check out my blogs from the start. What? yeah I want you to read, hey look it's not a lot and I'm sure you'll be glad you did after reading them. How do I know you'll like them? Please, have I ever lied to you before? Ok then go read them anyway...<br />
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Yes, I have issues, but then do't we all?<br />
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My blogs were mainly created for me to talk about my youngest child, who was born with Down Syndrome, hence the name My Holland Hugs (again read the first few blogs to know all the details of the name and such). My little Angel is the light of my life. I couldn't imagine my life without him.<br />
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A few weeks ago I was at work and I get this call. "Hi hunny, Baby fell and I can't get him to stop crying. His mouth is bleeding I think he cracked a tooth." Me, "WHAT?" (Yes folks, he was calm on the phone when he called me). I asked him what happened..."What happened?" Him, "Cyndi was watching him while I was putting clothes into the dryer and then I hear him screaming. I guess he fell and hit his mouth on the floor and now his it's bleeding but he won't let me look at it and he won't stop crying." Me, "Ok let me tell my boss and I'll be right there". Sent message to my boss, Anthony fell and is bleeding I need to go now." "Ok."<br />
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I left, went to the laundry mat when the family was and picked up Anthony. He has almost stopped crying but you can tell he's in pain. I start calling I don't know how many dentists trying to find one that could see us now and that takes Medical and can deal with a Special Needs child. I found one, doesn't take Medical but they take IEHP. Ok fine, the card is at home. I sent a message to another Mom that lives kinda far from me, asking her if she knew any and she thankfully did. I called them and they told me to come in now, I'm an hour away and told him to give me a little bit of time but I would be there as soon as I could. <br />
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I then take the baby home, get his cards, change and get him ready to go and by this time the rest of the family has shown up. We leave, drive to West Covina (for those of you in this area you know that driving from Rialto to West Covina can take about an hour without traffic and this is around 2 in the afternoon, the beginning of traffic time). We made it there, and waited. My son just loves fish so he was watching the fish tank most of the time. The Children's Dental Funzone takes Medical and work with you if there is something Medical doesn't pay for.<br />
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It's a really nice place. There are 2 areas, one for normal services, all the chairs are next to each other to give the kids comfort in knowing there are other kids like them. On the other side is the more private rooms, for those that need to be restrained or knocked out. Yes I said restrained or knocked out. A small child will not just sit there and let someone they don't know touch their mouth and to do anything where it involves touching them? Hell no! Not gonna happen!<br />
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We talked with the dentist for a few minutes and he gave us a run down of what he needed to do to even get a look at the tooth/teeth that are bleeding. We could wait a few days for him to call in a gas specialist for Anthony to be knocked out or we could have him restrained and get it done now. Anthony was in so much pain I agreed to have it done now and if we couldn't handle it we could always stop and wait the few days. We always have that option.<br />
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We waited another hour for him to have a room ready and in we go.<br />
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The room. Very small and I don't mean small like the normal dentist rooms small, I mean this is almost a closet room small. There was the dentist chair, 2 stools (dentist and his assist.) a sink, small shelf with DVD player on it. In the corner was a box type thing for the parent to sit on and that's it. The room was full. the child retrains (<a href="http://http://blog.dentistthemenace.com/2012/04/inside-edition-investigates-papoose.html">Child Restrains Story</a>) was already in there in different sizes. They kept the small one there and moved the larger ones to another room.<br />
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Now your looking at this and going she let them do that to her kid? What choice did I really have? I can't stand him to be in pain and sorry he was in pain. The tooth after they got the x-rays of it was cracked all the way to the nerve, so as a person who has teeth, you know that when that nerve is exposed, it HURTS. Now your 2 1/2 and can't talk or tell anyone it hurts, I had to do it. They were able to remove the tooth with him crying the whole time. I felt so bad and wanted to cry myself but held it together for the little guy. Nic on the other hand was falling apart and kept walking out of the room to take a breath. Anthony pulled through it, lost his first tooth and is now doing fine.<br />
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We feel bad he had to have that much trauma done but he's fine now.My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-89016900383076129862012-09-06T13:30:00.000-07:002012-09-06T13:30:37.545-07:00Things That Annoy Me ~ ThursdayI am jumping on the band wagon so to speak. <br><br>
I just saw this blog <a href="http://http://whisperingwriter.blogspot.com/2012/09/things-that-annoy-me-thursday-assuming.html">Things That Annoy Me Thursday</a> and I just had to start it myself as there are a ton of things that can annoy everyone but no one really talks about them. <br><br>
Ok so here it goes. <br><br>
My Things That Annoy Me Thursday list.<br><br>
Your at work and people that walk by your door every few seconds to see what your doing or not doing but never say hi to you or ask how your doing. (This happens almost daily where I am. The boss, manager, not even sure what to call him really, walks from his office, down the 20 foot hallway past my door and back. The most I've seen him do this was 20 times in less than 2 minutes. What could you possibly be doing on the other side of my office and why do you need to go back and forth that often? I mean COMON!)
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I'm not a dumb person, but people always treat me like I am.<br><br>
My boss. He tells me that he will find me more work to do, then 5 minutes before I get to clock out sends me a crap load of stuff but nothing during the whole rest of the day when I had NOTHING to do.<br><br>
People that have nice new cars and don't take care of them so they look like crap. Wash your cars people!<br><br>
Ok, so now you should do the whole Annoying thing blog and link it to the blog at the top. We all have them, get to it! 8:0)
My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-8523830105896298862012-08-28T19:41:00.000-07:002012-10-14T17:48:19.825-07:00Selling Down Syndrome Shirts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5n6XbCf5c_UIFFeETEdopbuUq-1BngHWbzSs9GimkbT_P8u8-TXVUbT_jLR8qbNWlDNYCKfDq_MUZiTzGkk8xDlmvCkbi2mZ803rwdPD9rxmRi5_P6K4jdEpCGHOTsoRtwpyg0oitqmxV/s1600/2012-08-28+17.56.32.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="75" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5n6XbCf5c_UIFFeETEdopbuUq-1BngHWbzSs9GimkbT_P8u8-TXVUbT_jLR8qbNWlDNYCKfDq_MUZiTzGkk8xDlmvCkbi2mZ803rwdPD9rxmRi5_P6K4jdEpCGHOTsoRtwpyg0oitqmxV/s320/2012-08-28+17.56.32.jpg" width="134" /></a></div>
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These shirts were designed by my brother in law.</div>
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Find my Facebook page <a href="http://www.facebook.com/fantomkat">Facebook FantomKat</a> and we can connect there.</div>
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This is the front of the shirt.</div>
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This is the back of the shirt.
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirMSS3_gpEC0JtWlJ-jXk2JVXk-k2QHxB8HKCEzUDEm2uGWBIgDtYOOKYg2ZbZFD613P625_9kZcEwDlxjNDcziXxqqp_AnbvT_8qkzvmPTpCFeV6VAxkcsUBYrAfcsnlRUJFNk7ecYKOW/s1600/IMG_2015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirMSS3_gpEC0JtWlJ-jXk2JVXk-k2QHxB8HKCEzUDEm2uGWBIgDtYOOKYg2ZbZFD613P625_9kZcEwDlxjNDcziXxqqp_AnbvT_8qkzvmPTpCFeV6VAxkcsUBYrAfcsnlRUJFNk7ecYKOW/s320/IMG_2015.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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All the shirts are made of 100% Cotton, pre-shrunk.
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Right now we don't have color options as they are the color of the Down Syndrome Ribbon already.
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We do have child and adult sizes and soon we will be adding parents shirts, which will be male and female designed so check back all the time.
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Allow up to 2 weeks for shipping. **ATTENTION DUE TO THE HIGH DEMAND IT MAY TAKE UP TO 3 WEEKS FOR DELIVERY, SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE** I will email you to let you know for sure.</div>
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Thank you.
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For the families that would like to order and live in the San Gabriel, San Bernardino, Riverside areas send me a message stating how many you would like to buy, we can deliver them to you personally, minus tax and shipping, so if you are in the area DO NOT BUY FROM HERE but instead message me on Facebook and we will arrange delivery.
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New sizes, 2T, 3T and 4T. When you place the order, in the notes put what size you want if it's not listed.</div>
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My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-80162374909143873222012-07-18T13:51:00.002-07:002012-07-18T13:51:24.109-07:00<br />
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For the past few months I have been slowly getting more and
more freaked out about events that are coming up.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Let me explain. A few months ago I received 2 letters (not
sure why I got 2 but I did). The letters
were telling me of my 20, yes 20 year reunion that’s coming up on August 4<sup>th</sup>.
20 years is a long time. I went to the
10 year, with my ex, my older kids’ father, and had fun spending the night
talking with a few people, one couple mostly about tattoo’s…yes very odd
subject to talk about but it worked. We
left after a few hours and went home.
This time I’ve been in communication with some of the former classmates
on facebook so I know what some of them do for a living.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This is why I’m starting to freak out. Some of them have
really good jobs, some work for themselves others just really good companies.
Me? I work for a crappy company who uses me for crappy pay. I have 3 kids, 2 of
which give my new husband and me a very rough time while also dealing with a
special needs child. My oldest very
recently got pissed off at his sister, and instead of hitting or kicking her
like we’ve told him to not do in the past, kicked the wall and left a
hole. Not a big one but a hole none the
less. He then freaked out and left without telling anyone where he was going
and apparently not planning on coming back except for his clothes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My daughter, acting very innocent, tells me in a text that
she did nothing wrong but ask him to turn down his “phone radio” and go to her
room to stay there until he did. This
didn’t happen. She text him and told him
to turn the crap down or she was going to snitch on him and get him in trouble. This goes back and forth for a little while
and he then kicks the wall. He thought
we were going to kill him and that’s why he left. He planned to move into his friend’s
house with 7 other people in a 3 bedroom, change his payee and never come home.
I put a stop to that. He’s now home, not
able to go anywhere and they both lost their phones and anything else to do.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My mother, who has been living in a nice apartment not very
far from us in now moving again (after a year) and not packing anything. This
of course is stressing for everyone, my sister, her husband and of course us,
because if she doesn’t pack it means we may have to again and none of us want
to. We love her but I have a little one
who gets into everything now so I can’t do it, my sister works weekends so she
can’t do it and our husband’s just do it because we ask.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So with all that going on, the reunion is in 2 weeks, OMG 2
weeks! And I have the world’s worst job (yeah at least I have one right?), kids
that drive me insane and no time to do anything with the baby that I want or
need to get done. What else could
possibly happen…I know not good saying that out loud but there it is in black
and white for all to read.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I get overwhelmed and stressed; I need to get away, a real
vacation but can’t afford it. Maybe the blog thing will start to release some
of my stress again. Some may be upsetting but hey I’ll give it a try again.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Thanks for reading, I hope I didn’t scare you off.<o:p></o:p></div>My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-25151001896596750722011-12-27T23:22:00.000-08:002011-12-27T23:25:53.292-08:00Random stuff from work part 2Bugs: My co-workers from hell have a sick sense of humor. Over the past 5 years (that’s how long I have been working at this *cough* job), have taken some rather sick pictures of things they find out in the yard. I will save you the graphic nature of some of these pictures, but they have been known to be such things as dead possums, birds, black widows that one worker had caught in a plastic bottle, then froze to see if they would come back to life (no they don’t, only fly’s do that) flattened kittens, road kill dogs, and some very nice/odd art work on train cars and yes bathroom locations in the yard. We have these and many more pictures saved on the drive at work…thinking of making a calendar out of them…Odd things “OUR COMPANY” Finds While Working in the Yard. Think it will catch on?<br />
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Well back to why I started this, last week I was sitting here working when I was looking at the screen then just happened to look down and saw something move near my foot. Now the last time I saw something move near my foot it was a small field mouse that was looking for food…that wasn’t the case this time around. No, I wish it was as that must after it have me a heart attack was really kinda cute. No this was the biggest BUG I have ever seen. I made me jump so far back that I thought I was dreaming when I saw the size of it again. It had to be and I kid you not, 2 inches long, if not longer (its size, which may reach 2-inches in length). Now I have had 3 things scare me while at work so far, a spider that was tormenting me, later I found out it was some kind of jumping spider with a blue face on its back), the mouse and now this <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mahogany_Jerusalem_cricket.jpg" target="_blank">giant bug Called the Jerusalem Cricket</a>. I sent the text to my sister, boss and Hollands Daddy to see if someone could possibly tell me what kind of horrific thing I was dealing with. While waiting (curled up on my chair watching it from a distance) I noticed 2 things, nothing tossed at it scares it but sunlight does. It walked around the whole booth trying to get away from this very thin line of sun that was trailing in the doorway. I figured ok, I need to get it out and fast. The thing tried to get into my bag! I was freaking out, how do I get it out?????? Ok, bathroom has a broom…runs to bathroom, gets broom…check phone still no text back…where did bug go? Shit! Ok, there it is behind microwave cart.<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2sSBPgiE57k/Tvq-PwN7XUI/AAAAAAAAAQc/zTpi_S8XpIQ/s1600/Jerusalem_cricket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2sSBPgiE57k/Tvq-PwN7XUI/AAAAAAAAAQc/zTpi_S8XpIQ/s320/Jerusalem_cricket.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Wait for bug to come out; tries to get itself trapped by door…dumb ass bug go away already! Walks out from door, slide door open as fast as it can, hit with broom, hit again and again, push it outside…dang it’s on the sidewalk, nooooo don’t go back in the booth…hit it again into the driveway…ok bug in the street on its back. Hmm it’s not moving, did the sun kill it? Watch it for a minute, OMG IT’S MOVING! Back on its legs, stops, looks around, starts walking towards cars…NO!! Ok, so now this bug, yes I took pictures of this huge thing, is not walking in the sun that it tried to escape from the booth. My sister finally texts me back and tells me that it’s some kind of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mahogany_Jerusalem_cricket.jpg" target="_blank">Jerusalem Cricket</a> that co-worker from hell (at night) found and put in the booth to scare co-worker from hell (day) only the bug didn’t listen and came out before I had to go home so she could find it. Stupid bug! STUPID PEOPLE! I hate people that try to scare other people with bugs! IT’S A BIG, PEOPLE FIND THEM ALL THE TIME, DOESN’T MEAN WE WANT TO SAVE THEM FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO FIND! Yes I will be posting pictures of everything I have mentioned this this blog.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nucAOPRaLTk/Tvq5yazpjlI/AAAAAAAAAOw/4l0pH6Ecl8U/s1600/100_8954.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nucAOPRaLTk/Tvq5yazpjlI/AAAAAAAAAOw/4l0pH6Ecl8U/s320/100_8954.JPG" width="278" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The spider that was playing with me.</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r03GQjscdXc/Tvq5y9SBTSI/AAAAAAAAAO4/Q32bNeR2L4c/s1600/BLACK+WIDOW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r03GQjscdXc/Tvq5y9SBTSI/AAAAAAAAAO4/Q32bNeR2L4c/s320/BLACK+WIDOW.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">One of my ex-coworkers toys</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hDY2bg0TUwk/Tvq5zWzR9cI/AAAAAAAAAPA/TDgo7LFsSps/s1600/DEAD+RAT.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hDY2bg0TUwk/Tvq5zWzR9cI/AAAAAAAAAPA/TDgo7LFsSps/s320/DEAD+RAT.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Some of the animals they bring back to me</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SqtEsaLwt0M/Tvq5z0q4ueI/AAAAAAAAAPI/ig-IGsl-3j0/s1600/Dont+be+so+serious.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SqtEsaLwt0M/Tvq5z0q4ueI/AAAAAAAAAPI/ig-IGsl-3j0/s320/Dont+be+so+serious.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Yep, some of these can be funny to see on trains</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HUWZkiteRz8/Tvq50ssH3aI/AAAAAAAAAPQ/ys4rbaEengM/s1600/DUCK.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HUWZkiteRz8/Tvq50ssH3aI/AAAAAAAAAPQ/ys4rbaEengM/s320/DUCK.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">EWW!</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N7LQYgJucyU/Tvq500U69aI/AAAAAAAAAPY/SVFpoKIZ8t8/s1600/GRAFFITI.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N7LQYgJucyU/Tvq500U69aI/AAAAAAAAAPY/SVFpoKIZ8t8/s320/GRAFFITI.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Funny</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DOEkX8Rg6lI/Tvq51cJF0UI/AAAAAAAAAPg/Og2KvRf3yX0/s1600/INSECT+PORN+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DOEkX8Rg6lI/Tvq51cJF0UI/AAAAAAAAAPg/Og2KvRf3yX0/s320/INSECT+PORN+%25281%2529.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Day shift coworkers saw fly porn, they later killed said fly's</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UEz11u_VOXY/Tvq51yOSt-I/AAAAAAAAAPo/tegUkCc_AJw/s1600/OCT+5-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UEz11u_VOXY/Tvq51yOSt-I/AAAAAAAAAPo/tegUkCc_AJw/s320/OCT+5-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">On the side of a train</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RcM9t8SY_W8/Tvq52PqEDoI/AAAAAAAAAPw/m2ft2Ia231Q/s1600/Picture+026.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RcM9t8SY_W8/Tvq52PqEDoI/AAAAAAAAAPw/m2ft2Ia231Q/s1600/Picture+026.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NhWVWjoxdCQ/Tvq52u9_k5I/AAAAAAAAAP4/g70gukfk0B0/s1600/Picture+027.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NhWVWjoxdCQ/Tvq52u9_k5I/AAAAAAAAAP4/g70gukfk0B0/s320/Picture+027.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The bottle that went into the freezer</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rJSDa0LkKrU/Tvq528-2_TI/AAAAAAAAAQA/6ouNRR7OPlI/s1600/Picture+035.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rJSDa0LkKrU/Tvq528-2_TI/AAAAAAAAAQA/6ouNRR7OPlI/s1600/Picture+035.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Z9xce7wkv3k/Tvq53XlVFKI/AAAAAAAAAQI/wEA6Gz41rJs/s1600/STONER-GHOST.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Z9xce7wkv3k/Tvq53XlVFKI/AAAAAAAAAQI/wEA6Gz41rJs/s320/STONER-GHOST.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Poor ghosty</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HNac1ap4X0A/Tvq537iZMhI/AAAAAAAAAQQ/cPa_3_GsALE/s1600/STOP_MEN_AT_WORK.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HNac1ap4X0A/Tvq537iZMhI/AAAAAAAAAQQ/cPa_3_GsALE/s320/STOP_MEN_AT_WORK.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">There was no one around at the time, or does this pertain to the people we work with?</div><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-49309257996344139522011-12-27T22:59:00.000-08:002011-12-27T23:21:24.260-08:00Random stuff from workOk this is VERY long, but funny...<br />
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I’m sitting here at work and many odd things keep flooding my mind and believe it or not work is not 1 of them.<br />
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I am typing out my many random thoughts right now and hopefully I can make some kind of funny blog about each of them later or just one really crazy blog.<br />
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Let me just start out by saying that even though my sister and I work for the same company, we neither see each other or work together. That being said, this company sucks worse than donkey turds rotting in the sun. I come in this morning after many signs told me to just stay home. See last week was my birthday and while I left the house feeling less than normal, I went home after just 2 gawd awful hours of work if you can even call it that. I started doing my reports (that’s what I do for 8 hours a day) and after an hour of doing this I started feeling a little quizy. I was trying so hard to keep whatever foreign life forms from coming back up in the in-side on my body and after 1 ½ hours of failing this it all came out in a rush.<br />
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After word I cleaned up my stuff, put it all in the car and waited for my boss to come in at 6:30am. I then clocked out; walked to his car and told him I was going home very sick. I spent half the day sleeping it off, the rest of the day not getting the rest that I would have liked to have gotten…why? My family doesn’t want me to rest either on my birthday or when I’m feeling so very sick. I was then forced to try and eat dinner, which again didn’t want to sit too well. I went to bed early, got up and worked the next day.<br />
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Today I come in and there’s only 1 car in the parking lot. I found out that one of the people that have been making my life at work and recently home pure hell called off…go figure day after Christmas who wants to work? I look through my email and find out the other person who has made my life hell also called off the same day. Hmmm very oddish, NOT (well not if you know these 2 like we do). Sitting here waiting for my boss to come in (didn’t know he was taking this whole week off, MUST BE NICE!), the other 2 people show up on my shift, again the person from hell “texts” that she is still very sick and will not be in today again. Hmmm so not only did she take Christmas off, with pay, she’s also taken the 2 days after that off. Nice.<br />
So the work from this weekend was very lacking, except for the shift my sister works on, the only shift to really do any work this whole weekend…thank you for the 37 reports!<br />
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Other mindless things running through my head, I just looked at the calendar and noticed that this is going to be a leap year…HAPPY LEAP YEAR EVERYONE! So what does this mean…the world is due to end on you guessed it, MY BIRTHDAY! Not just my birthday but my 40th BIRTHDAY! YIPPIE! NOT! With the whole leap year thing, does that mean it goes the 365 days or the full 366 days? I’m confused; do I die on the day I was born or the day before? Do I have 1 extra day to go into more debt? Someone please give me some answers! (For those of you who believe the world will end…) You have 365/366 days to do as much damage to your credit score as you possibly can, that will help the Government pay the taxes to those who need it to get into the afterlife. So go out, charge everything, don’t pay for anything with cash, just say yes to plastic! Buy that new car, house, boat; gun…money is no object as you won’t be around long enough to really have to worry about it. Bill collectors don’t start calling you until you’re at least 6 months behind so you have plenty of time to change your number, (buy a new cell for that), move (buy a new house for this), change cars (remove the gps/lojac and on-star before non-payment), buy a house boat, find an island to hide it on…do as much as you can to help!<br />
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For those of you that believe Zombies will take over, please check out this song, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyGOXA1r4K4" target="_blank">Zombie Apocalypse</a>, my 2 year old just loves it.<br />
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Other nonsense:<br />
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Shuffle…when you put in a bunch of random music on your iPod, Zune, or other music device, you expect it to play some random stuff…what you don’t expect is it to go from Britney Spears, to Godsmack, to Chevelle, to Life house, to Faith Hill then to Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Backstreet Boys, Bullets for my Valentine and back to Britney only to jump through more odd stuff after that. Yes we do really have Backstreet Boys and Britney on the Zune. Lol<br />
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</div>My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065679388338985385.post-65079558034006371002011-12-14T14:06:00.000-08:002011-12-14T15:00:26.706-08:00Family part 2!So I had such a great response with my first blog, thank you for the comments.<br />
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Here’s is part 2 of my life and family.<br />
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I’m sure some of you have looked into my sister’s blog by now and if you haven’t I insist that you go check it out right now, yes I’ll still be here when you’re done….back? Ok good, so now that you’ve read her blog on <a href="http://damnitwoman.blogspot.com/2011/11/marriage-this-is-how-we-do-it.html">Marriage</a> let me tell you about mine.<br />
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Yes I know that I have only been married for a month but let me tell you about the father of my older kids…yes he is different from my present husband, I know shocker right? Naw, I couldn’t fool you, as you’re smarter than that (I hope). Well my first “husband” (why the quotes? getting to that…) It all started dang 20 years ago (now I feel old, thanks!). My (at the time) best friend had this guy that she liked but hooked me up with him, still not sure why she would get mad over the fact that we did hit it off so well but she did. After he and I met we were stuck on each other. After a few months we discovered I was pregnant and we rushed down and got “married” in a real Church and everything. The Church was on a street in Rosemead called Hellman (kinda funny if you think about it).<br />
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The pastor who performed the ceremony (after I tried to walk back out of the Church) filled out the license and where it says date, instead of putting the “date” on it changed the 4 to a 1 and scribbled the 4 out. Now you would think that on a legal document that this would not be a good thing, yep you’re right. The State of California did not like this and asked us to fix it. Yeah umm sure thing, let me just run back down, get more papers, have them filled out again, without mistakes then mail them back to you. As you can guess this didn’t happen, hey I was still in school and yeah teenagers are lazy.<br />
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So the paperwork was never fixed and we had our bouncing little boy (who now stands 6’5" hence why I called him Too Tall for my blogs). After he was born a year and 16 days later I gave birth to my daughter, a pain from day 1 I tell you. My son was perfect, slept through the night, didn’t cry much, was a happy baby; my daughter never slept, cried all the time, wanted everything…pretty much still does lol.<br />
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Skip ahead to our 10 year “anniversary”. Me wanting out of the “loving” marriage by this point went down to see if it had been filled way back when. They sent me this neat little letter (which I still have lol) telling me that there was no record of our marriage. So what’s that mean? YES I’M FREE WITHOUT A MESSY DIVORCE! So I move out, leaving him in a apartment where he was at the time working and I move in to a house with some rather old people (never again!). He then loses his job, gets kicked out of the complex and yes I felt bad for him so I let him come live with me. I started dating a guy I had known for a few years as a good friend and then got a job near my mom’s house and decided to move in with her and my kids (who were by choice living with her). So their father “Packer Lover” moved with me. Yes I was very openly dating the other guy “Mr. Macho” and when Packer Lover discovered that I wasn’t going to take him back he moved back with his mother and Mr. Macho and I had a great time, ok so not so great if you ask anyone who saw us together.<br />
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While living with my mom I met Billy-Jo-Bob, Skinny Twig, Goth Boy, Teddy, Jitters and Italian/French kid. Skinny Twig had a friend who needed my help, Hollands Daddy (who was married to Scattered Brain) but needed to move his stuff to Skinny Twigs mom’s friends’ house (where they all lived at the time). Hollands Daddy, Billy-Jo-Bob and Skinny Twig and I all hung out and became great friends. Hollands Daddy wanted to date but since he was married I kept telling him no…I do have morals people, sheesh.<br />
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He and I hit it off great, I did have a few sparks for him but I’m smarter than to go after someone with a paper attached even if she isn’t and I was smart. He after a year went back with her and long story short went home to his home State, Nebraska. After 3 years of trying to contact him though Army Girl, he finally answered back, flew out here in less than a month after his divorce was final and as of Jan 8th 2008 we started “dating”. He went back home, packed up his stuff and had moved here in less than a month. A few months later we discovered I was pregnant with Boo…after we decided to not have kids (that’s another blog completely). Long story (yes I know it has been so far) shortened, it took us the next 3 years to finally get married. So here we are now, 1 big “happy” family.My Holland Hugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473932792021492131noreply@blogger.com1